Where do you get your mannerisms from?

January 26 2016

"Just be the best role model you can," Raiden told me. "Is there any other good father figures in your family?"

I shrugged. I had my dad, though for a father figure? I wasn't too sure.

"Um..."

"Don't worry, if push comes to shove, I know my brother wouldn't mind being a father figure."

I just had to smile. Sometimes I wondered where she got some of her mannerisms from.

I've known Raiden since I was born. She's my Godmother, and a really good one at that, despite the fact that she didn't have such a great upbringing either. I don't know how I would have turned out if it hadn't been for her. She showed me all the values and morals I should have. A lot of who I am today can be attributed to her. 

In a sense I think my mother was relieved in a way when I took after Raiden, because she knew that Raiden would be a good role model for me.

Being in a positive environment and being around good role models can change how a child grows up. And I guess I was just lucky enough to have that exact thing happen to me.

Here's hoping to a better future,

Morven.

Choices: Does the baby monkey do what it sees the parents doing?

January 19 2016

In my quiet time I worried; was this the sort of role model that I picked for my baby girl? How would she grow up if Harland's present behaviour continued?

You see that? That's the elephant in the room no one wants to talk about. And as you just read, I am the first born, and I seem to have turned out ok too. The effect  that a physically or emotionally absent parent has is something no one wants to talk about or think about.

Here's another elephant: no parent wants to deal with the bad choices they make when it involves their child. Kids unconsciously drag around how their parents were towards them, and make partner choices based on it, unless they consciously break that cycle.

Parental role models are unfortunately scarce in today's society, so if you're not going to be a good parental role model, please don't become a parent.

Here's hoping to a better future,

Morven.

Third Warning Sign

January 12 2016

There was another warning that Raiden gave me. "Be sure to become financially independent."

The first time I heard it, I wanted to dismiss it and laugh it off, but there was a tiny nudge at the back of  my head that told me to listen to the advice.

And I am so glad that I did.

Thankfully my mother did listen to that advice. I'll admit that she did what she could to bring us up - though that meant working most of the time. Over the years, she became jaded the more she worked, and would only be able to throw us a tired smile when she got home at night.

Just a piece of advice: be careful of the decisions/choices you make.

Here's hoping to a better future,

Morven.

Second Warning Sign

January 4 2016

If I thought Harland was bad when I announced that I was pregnant, it was nothing compared to when I told him the due date.

"I'll probably be working," he replied.

I was crestfallen.

I believe that there are always signs - and they're there whether we choose to see them or not.

There's no point in sticking your head in the sand hoping that the problem will go away. Honestly? My mother should have left at that point.

Here's hoping to a better future,

Morven.