March 13 2016
When I got home, life went on as expected: Harland
went to work, I took care of my new lovely baby girl that I had named
Morven; cleaned the house, and when Harland came home, he expected food, said
little and went to bed. Attention was never given to Morven by him, except to
tell me to keep her quiet when he was sleeping. There were nights where I cried
silently, because I felt alone, and I had no support to take care of Morven.
When I did cry, I made sure to do it out of Morven's presence, as I didn't want
her to see my distress. Then there were nights where I tearfully called Raiden and
asked her to come over.
This is what my mother had to go through because
the partner she had chosen to be with didn't want to be a parent.
Sometimes guys wonder why I have the attitude I do;
and usually I don't explain because I know they aren't going to be sticking
around.
The problem with kids today is that they don't have
the parental role models they should. Thankfully I had my Godmother Raiden when
I was growing up.
Maybe if my mom had observed more carefully, she
would've known to stay away from him.
Sometimes I think that my relationship with them
would have been better if they'd been the parents they were supposed to. Maybe
my brother Elian wouldn't have done all the things he did if they'd been better
parents.
I can go on all day about 'maybes' and 'what ifs',
but unfortunately I've got to work with what has passed and happened. All I can
do is move forward.
Here's hoping to a better future,
Morven.
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